My Shattered Plate

How well we know the statement:  "I have a lot on my plate." 

Well, recently my plate became so full that I dropped it and it shattered.  I am not proud of the way I feel, nor am I proud of my dysfunction. I currently want to stay home and avoid all people.  I currently do not want to make ONE more decision.  Currently, I am cranky!  All this is not my normal, but it is my current reality.

 I am proud that I know my Maker, my Savior, the Lover of my Soul, the Potter of my clay, and the healer of my broken heart.  I know Him by name.  I know Him by faith! ........and HE KNOWS ME!

I have walked lonely valleys before.  I have walked scary dark paths before.  And each time when I realize I am on such a path, I start asking God:  What can I learn from this?  Teach me!!!  I don't want this "down, shelf time" to be a total waste.  Take this mess and  build within me to become a stronger messenger.

I am also aware that although I "hate" what I am currently feeling and thinking.....it will pass as I lay quietly before the Great Physician. I tend to lay still,  get up and run, lay still, get up and run - a cycle that slows the healing process for sure.   So it is not the Great Physician's fault, it is mine.   I need to surrender to His Healing Touch.  I am a stubborn one at times!

I am also very aware that I am not the only human being, or the only Christian, feeling beaten down and discouraged today.  Although that fact does not comfort me, it puts ME into a more proper perspective so the big "I"  lessens in prominence in the sea of others with equal needs. 

I pray, when I come back to my senses, that I will remember what this FEELS like, and how it does not just GO AWAY , even with prayer and Bible Reading.  Although the greatest comfort so far has been to lay on my bed and listen to the entire book of Romans on CD.  I stayed quietly on the bed the entire time, and gave God my undivided attention.   But I am still trying to function, so cannot lay prone on my bed all day.  God is still there, but somehow when I am on my feet (so to speak) my head is too noisy with "plate pieces" to be still.

I pray that when I come back to my senses, I will be a better Counselor, a better friend, a better Christian, a better person.   For I am clearly aware that my coming back, will be GOD.  I give HIM the keys to every room of my heart, even where the hammer that broke the plate may be hiding.

Most days, God gives me a song before I get out of bed.  
This morning He used a friend on FB to give it to me:

He's Able, He's Able, I KNOW He's Able,

I know my Lord is able to carry me through!

He's Able!  He's Able!  I KNOW He's Able!

I know my Lord is able to carry me through!

He healed the broken hearted, and set the captive free.

He made the lame to walk again, and He caused the blind to see.

He's able!  He's able!  I know He's able.

I know my Lord is able to carry me through!

 

 

Perhaps by the end of this day, I will be FREE and JOYFUL again.  

 

I would sure like that!

 

Sunday is coming, and I want to WORSHIP HIM and serve HIM in JOY!

 

My life verse has always been John 3:30: 

   "HE must increase, but I must decrease."

 

NLT:  "He must become greater and greater, and I must become less and less."

 

Thank You Lord ..that YOU are the GOD in the Mountain top experiences, when my life is all sunshine, and You are my Lord when all I see around me is scary darkness and limited light.   I trust You Lord.  

 

Heavenly Father, I am SURE I am more use to You when my head is straight, my feelings are not all over the place, my words are not sharp, and my smile is back.  So Father I ask that YOU will lead me quickly thru this valley and into YOUR sunshine.   Help anyone else who may be reading this post, and feeling similar.   Lord, I need, I want, YOUR healing in my life.   Heal me, Your daughter.  Heal your sick children.  In Your precious and powerful name I pray, amen.