Raindrop Grief

My precious mother went to Glory on Sept 14, 2009. She and I were very close. I find tears come without warning and just now starting to have more control.

Yesterday my husband and I went for a motorcycle ride. I had never seen the sky so blue, nor the clouds so very white. My eyes were drawn to the skies, then tears would come, and I would struggle to wipe them away.

Dark Clouds were ahead and at one point my husband pulled over and suggested we put on the raingear.

So I put on the rain gear, which included a face shield.

It was not long and the rain began to pound against my face shield. It did not touch my face, but my vision was blurred by the many raindrops on my shield. Everything I looked at, I viewed through rain drops on my shield. For miles rain filled the ditches beside us and flowed down the country roads - but my husband continued to take our motorcycle in the direction of home. I knew that soon the sun would come out again, the rain gear would come off, and I would see life without the rain dropped shield.

It became very clear to me that it was a picture of my grief.

My grief is great and the tear drops are heavy, even flooding my pathway...but with GOD, I will keep moving and HE will dry my tears and brighten my path.

This is the way life is suppose to be. We are suppose to loose our parents, they are not to loose their children. We all agree that is the way life is suppose to be, so I will walk through this and hopefully become better because of it.

Double Blessing!

I Want to share a Double Blessing that occured today:
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BRIEFLY: I met a new deaf lady today! AND.....
I met a hearing man who knows CUBAN Sign Language!
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Here's the story:

Ken and I went along with Captain Ed and Granny Ann to 'Royal Care' where they were scheduled to minister to the residents with their puppets and illusion lessons. Captain Ed had asked Ken to go along as his 'sound man'. I went along for the ride and could see Minnie.

Our dear friend Minnie is still a resident there while getting therapy. She told me "That lady" (pointing to a lady in a wheelchair down the hall) "is deaf". I never know what a person means by that ....is the person deaf because of age, or do they know sign language? But I turned to that lady and signed: "Are you deaf?" She signed back with enthusiam: "YES!" So we started chatting in the hallway while I heard Captain Ed begin his program. The deaf lady could not come down as she had to be 'swing weighed' soon and then put to bed - her time for being "up" was over. She fractured her hip and is still not to the walking stage. She was happy as the man had just hooked up CC to her TV for her! I started walking back to where Captain Ed, Granny Ann and Ken were giving the program........

THEN one of the workers there (all seem to be foreign) asked me if I was going to be here for a few minutes, that he would bring down his friend who worked with the deaf in Cuba, but is here now in the States and doesn't know much English or any american sign. I said 'SURE'. So he brought him over to me. A nice young man. We had fun showing each other the differences in our sign languages. I could see how his made sense too (as far as an aerial picture) but was totally different from ASL. I asked him if he went to Church anywhere. He said "SDA". I said "GOOD, then you are free on Sundays to visit our church!" I told him: "Come and you can learn ASL by watching me". He said, "HOW can I do that without knowing English?" I said, "by WATCHING like deaf people do. YOu will SEE the picture and you will pick up a few words, and God will help you to make the connection. It will be great way to pick up sign language as well as english".

I gave him my email address, and directions to the Church. I told him my name was Bonnie. I remembered from being in South America that it is a hard name (and so is Ken) for spanish speakers to say correctly. So I told him: "You can call me Susanna" (my middle name is Sue). HE smiled as big as Texas and said, "OK Susanna!"

When the program was done, Captain Ed, Granny Ann, Ken and I were standing by the car talking as we loaded up and this young man was in his car. He pulled up to us, looked at me and said in his broken english: "I be there Sunday!" And in my broken spanish I said, "and your wife?" and he said "YES and my wife."

What fun! I got to practise my broken spanish with his broken english and exchange two different sign languages - and we will see how the LORD uses this to HIS honor and glory! Isn't God goooooood!

So on the way home, I told Pastor Ken (my hubby) that he may be called Pastor Carlos (since 'Ken' is hard to say) and we smiled. [We thought God was going to have us use those names for years in South America - so it is nice to at least hear them now with that lovely spanish accent]. I teased Ken and said, YOu are going to surprise them with a copy of the sermon in spanish arent you? He said I just may do that!

Life is sure interesting. Interesting indeed.
Nothing boring about life or being in ministry!

HUG
Bonnie

Battle of the Mind

So many emotions visit me everyday of my life. I believe they do yours as well. I have disciplined myself to freeze the yucky thoughts, shine them into the Word of God and if they are truly yucky then I discard them in the name of my Lord Jesus. But this is a process and it takes time. Certainly not as much time as it used to.

For instance: I was looking over some pictures taken at our Church functions. I noted all the children, we LOOK like a great Sunday school class, but the reality is- we rarely have children in our Sunday school or in our church. We might have children once a month, and I never know which children will come, or what ages - it is very challenging to this Teacher. This has made it VERY difficult to prepare lessons. It can be VERY discouraging as I like to be organized and prepared. Countless times I have prepared a lesson only to have no students.

You can guess how satan loves to feed me gallons of yucky thoughts on that!

Well I have my lesson studied for tomorrow whether any children come or not. Did it hurt me to prepare a lesson from God's word? NO! I need to be into God's Word and into study mode, not just read mode.

However in light of my acknowledgment that I was feeling down about not having children in our church - I decided to actively fight it.

What I did next was to make little circle badges for the children who come to church tomorrow! It says " I came to Sunday School!"

I fought my stinking depressive thoughts with positive action.

NOW if children come I can reward them.

IF they do not come, I have fought a good fight!

I'm Listening, Lord

I have always enjoyed being involved in Deaf ministry. Much of my life I have been with deaf people and have loved every minute. Knowing deaf people has made me a better person. I have always thought they are the sweetest, and most honest, people on earth.

Deaf people being in my life, was God's idea.

ALITTLE PERSONAL HISTORY: I grew up in a fine, loving, Christian home. I was the middle child. My older brother seemed to be able to do EVERYTHING extremely well and my little sister was so cute she just had to smile - and I was in the middle. I was plain and average. I won't go into detail, but with my personality, and my not knowing what I had to contribute to life, I was a very vulnerable child. Although I was a Christian, I felt like I had no reason to get up in the morning, no real reason to be on earth. This is not a good mind set for a girl about to enter her teens. Although I was an outgoing Christian on the outside and truly WANTED to serve God with all my heart, I had this constant tug on me to find a reason to exist.


One day (which is another long story), as a pre-teen, I had an opportunity to see and touch a Ouija board. That started my thirst for the spirit world, unfortunately the dark spirit world seemed more appealing. I wanted to know and experience more. I started dabbling in demonic mind games. Oh on the outside I was still an outstanding, overt Christian young lady. Inside I had a growing thirst for darkness.

God saw this and cared about me.

GOD decided to send a group of deaf young people to my school, in my grade, for just one year. I had eight deaf sitting around me and our teachers had no clue how to teach deaf people and they were not allowed to have an interpreter in the classroom. They had to lipread. I soon noticed how they would look at each other with puzzled expressions when the teacher was talking and writing on the blackboard. They could not lipread the back of a head. They would get yelled at for not having their home work done, and yet they had not heard the assignment and the teachers had not written it on the board. It didn't take me long to start writing notes in class. When the teacher would turn her or his back, I would write what was being said and they would pass that note all around the room. From then on, they knew what their homework assignments were. That developed a friendship. I started going to their homes and they to mine.

Just from being with them, I learned sign language. I learned it quickly as I wanted to be their friend. I wanted to know their opinions and thoughts and to talk on a deeper level, then the "how are you" surface talk. God amazingly taught me sign language. By the end of that one year, I was able to carry on full conversations.

I felt I owed my life to them. I knew I owed my life to God. Now I had a reason to get up in the morning. I had a reason to live. I could do something well, that most people could not. I could talk to a group of people that not many people could. I had found a reason to live. I could be friends with the neatest group of people on earth!

Deaf people have continued to be my sunshine. I love being with them.

UNTIL NOW.

The Deaf people that I have found in this area are beautiful people, but they bicker, backbite and argue with each other MUCH of the time. They seem to be always mad at someone. They don't want to come to Church because "so and so" might be there. It is truly sad.

In light of this constant battling, I have had to fight my own feelings. I do not enjoy being around negative, fighting people.


I have been tempted to RUN the other way from the Deaf ministry here in this area. Where is the LOVE, the JOY, the laughter that I have always connected with Deaf people? I don't want to be part of a group that is so very negative, name calling, bickering and arguing.

And yet isn't THAT what ministry is all about? Giving unhappy people a chance to experience JESUS, the greatest Healer and Counselor of all?! Jesus put meaning into my life, I know He can help them too!


THEN my husband started a sermon series on Wednesday nights on the book of Jonah.

God told Jonah to go to Ninevah, where lived a group of terrible sinners. God wanted the Ninevites to hear God's message of love and forgiveness. Jonah refused the assignment and headed the opposite direction.

That sure sounds like what I am tempted, at times, to do with the Deaf! I am tempted to say: I am OUT OF HERE! IF you want to act like that, then go ahead. Have a God-less life or go to some other church!

But I know the account of Jonah. I know how his rebellion did not remove him from God's call on his life. His rebellion effected many others. He went through some pretty yucky times....until he agreed to do what God wanted him to do.....and THEY TURNED TO GOD!

I love the LORD JESUS and I truly WANT to DO His will for me. IF He wants me to interpret for Deaf people, then I will. It may not be the loving group of deaf I have always known, but they are people for whom Christ died. God has a message that HE wants to share with them, one that will change their hearts from cold and angry, to warm and tender. But first they must hear....and how can they hear unless someone is able to tell them.

SO my mission field, my assignment, is challenging. . . .but I trust God and I will be faithful to HIM, as long as I have breath.

And someday. . . maybe my new deaf friends will fall in love with Jesus and desire to think, talk and act more pleasing to HIM.

He's Able!

I wish I had a picture of our congregation as I teach the sign language segment on Sunday mornings. I am teaching them the chorus called, "He's Able".

It is such a JOY for me to watch out over the congregation and see all the HEARING people lifting their hands in praise to God and learning to put in expression too! I know the Deaf people LOVE this segment as well. It must warm their heart to see so many people making a real effort to learn their language in such a meaningful way.

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These are the words of the chorus:

He's Able, He's Able
I KNOW He's Able
I Know my Lord is Able to Carry me Through
He's Able, He's Able.
I KNOW He's Able.
I Know my Lord is Able to Carry me Through.

He healed the broken hearted
And set the captives free
He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see.

He's Able. He's Able.
I KNOW, He's Able.
I know My Lord is Able to Carry me Through.
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Most of the song is easy to sign, until you come to the verse, and then the syntax needs to be changed quite a bit. Today's lesson was "Set the Captives free". In sign language you must set the problem first so it can be resolved - so I taught them "captive" and explained the whys of the formation and emphasized the expression....then I taught them "SAVE" with explanation and expression emphasis.

Once hearing people understand the concept of visualization, they are able to grasp the understanding of why I am signing "two words" to a whole group of English words.

It is fun to teach, but MORE fun to watch them sign such great praise to our LORD JESUS!

I am so thankful that we have this segment in our morning Worship service. It is fun to ALL! It involves all ages and is a builder of communication between two cultures, two language groups of beautiful people who chose to worship together.

May God use this Sign Language Segment and multiply its efforts even more than I can imagine as only HE can do.

White Christmas

Ken, our daughter Angel and I headed to the Upper Peninsula for Christmas this year. We were doubly blessed to not only meet our EIGHTH grandchild, Alyvia - but to enjoy Christmas togetherness with all four of our children and all eight of our grandchildren. This is a RARE occasion indeed.

We were able to rent a nice little house across the street from one of our 3 sons. Our son got the key and checked it out for us. It was noted there were NO Christmas decorations, so two of our sons gathered things from their homes and decorated our little rental house. They had a lovely Christmas tree in the living room that was decorated with home made Christmas cards from our grandchildren! There was lights, garland, snowmen, a bowl of fruit and a lovely table centerpiece made by our daughter in law Bobbi. The house was very festive for our arrival. We felt so LOVED when they explained how they had decorated it for us!

Our daughter in law, Bobbi, had invited us all over to their house for actual Christmas day. We actually were able to spend quite a bit of time there with their lovely family. We enjoyed each minute of togetherness.

Another daughter in law, Julie, works part time at a Photographer's studio, so for our Christmas Gift we all went to have a family picture! All four of our children, the spouses and those eight grandchildren! That will be a picture to treasure.

The highlight was to meet Alyvia, our eighth grandchild. She is the first child born to our son Andy and his wife Angie. Alvia is beautiful and I knew she immediately loved her grandma and grandpa! I am thankful for all the time we were able to spend with sweet Alyvia.

We now are back in FLorida, 1500 miles from our family...but we have sweet memories and count our blessings.