HARD DAY

Today has been a really hard day....emotionally.  Just seemed like LIONS were ROARING in every direction today.  I will try and share one example:

I had been giving a nursing home resident a roll of quarters every time I visit her facility.  It started quite a while ago, just a special something between she and I.  I thought nothing of it until two weeks ago, in general conversation, I shared that quarter tradition with a staff member.  She gave me a facial expression like : "That is probably not a good thing to do."   That is truly the first time I had even thought about it being right, fair or proper.  But I felt that day that WISDOM had been imparted to me, and I knew that the tradition would have to stop.

Today upon entering the facility where she stays, she was waiting for me just inside the door.  she called me over and whispered:  "Are you going to give me something today?"   I looked into her eyes and said, "No I am not."  She gave me a smirk and turned her head, and I responded by saying:  "Do you not love me anymore, because I am not giving you money?"   She answered:  "I don't know" and turned her head.  

WOW.....I love the honesty BUT  honesty sure can sure be painful!

It was obvious that I had been BUYING her friendship, she did not love me for who I am, she loved me for what I give her! 

VERY PAINFUL to have that kind of personal rejection.   I was thankful for the wisdom in stopping the tradition.

In a few minutes I came back to her area, and asked her if she was coming to church today.  She had tears in her eyes and said :" I am sorry, I am sorry."  We hugged.

I thought all was well, and my heart was beaming to think she really did love me.

BUT

BUT

BUT

She never did come into Church....and she was not around when I left.  No goodbyes today.

So now I do not know how she really feels about me.  It would have meant alot to me if after this dialogue she came to church as she usually does.  But she didn't.

NOW it is my turn to ask myself:  Do I love her just because she comes to Church?
Not sure what the honest answer was up until this point in time.

BUT I know at this moment.....I love her more than ever.
I hope to see her again, and trust we will HUG and love one another expecting nothing from each other except honest love.

   GOD is the one who healed my broken heart in THIS incident today.  In all honesty, I am glad this day is about over.  I am glad to be home with just my hubby whom I know loves me, even when I say or do dumb things.  I am secure in my husband's love for me.

I am secure in my relationship with my LORD as well.  Even though my heart was broken and crushed many times today, I knew that my emotional state was stable and safe.  I was not going to fall apart even though the pain was wrenching.   My Lord is my heart Doctor.  He is faithful to love on me, even in my failures.  

I am so thankful to be a Christian!

I am NOT a machine!

Today's Blog I just want to Thank God!

I learned sign language because I wanted to be a real friend to deaf people.  I did NOT learn sign language so I could be an interpreter.  But since I am hearing, it comes with the knowledge of signing.  I would be very content just sitting next to them, among them, being part of them rather than standing up front.....yet God let me know many years ago, that HE taught me sign languge  and that there were MANY deaf people who did not know about Jesus dying for them.  Go ye into all the world....and for me, it was into the Deaf world.   I was THRILLED to be in the deaf world, so I am VERY comfortable around deaf people, yet I surrender my "INTERPRETING" to Him regularly. 

One thing we "learn" as Interpreters is to process what is being said but not to retain it, so when the deaf person asks us a question, we can honestly say we do not know, and they learn to direct their questions to the doctor, instructor, etc and not bombard us with questions when we get out of the situation.  We are trained to be "machines" if you will.  We are not to become bonded or personally attached to our "Deaf clients" lest they take advantage of our interpreting skills. We are trained to process everything correctly, but not to retain it.

When God suggested I interpret in Church, I told him basically NO because it was my Church service too!  Sunday was my worship day and I did not want to be a machine and then when the day was over.....my heart was empty.   He just quietly reminded me that HE is the one who taught me.  I asked God if He would allow me to take the sermon to heart myself, even though, I was interpreting.  I did not want to be a machine on Sunday.  I needed and WANTED to worship my Lord Jesus on the day HE has asked us to worship Him.  

I am here to testify that GOD indeed answered that prayer.  I am so thankful that even though I am listening to english and signing in ASL.....I am not a machine on Sunday.   The precious Holy Spirit grips my heart, moves deeply within me just as if I was sitting in the pew.   I am ever so Thankful for this gift the Lord has graciously bestowed upon me.

The only thing I have not figured out yet, is HOW do I go forward and kneel at the altar when I need to interpret.  That happened this morning.   I told God that my heart is at the Altar, and He hugged me with HIS approval.  Faithful to the task before me, yet Faithful to the Holy Spirit within.   I am every grateful that I am not an Interpreting machine on Sundays!

Thank you Lord Jesus!!

Protection on the Road Today

1.    We went for a motorcyle ride today with another couple.  Our bike was in the lead.  Three lanes of traffic was slowing down for a red light when the driver in the RIGHT lane decided she needed to make a left turn NOW....so without warning she came in front of us and tried to continue to get into the left turn lane, but it was already occupied.  She ended up straddling the line between our lane and the turn lane, which gave Ken a little space to keep the bike up and manuever into it safely.  It was quite the move the lady made - totally BLIND to anyone else on the road!

After Ken knew we were safe, he said something like:  "Whew, I can feel my heart!"

So thankful that even though we were in the lead of bikes, we were not in total leadership.  Our Lord was watching over us today and protected all of us in this incident.

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2.  On this same day, Hubby was again in the lead......when a raccoon decided to meander across the road.  (What is he doing out in the day time?)  Ken knew we could hit it and be safe, but we were pulling a trailer and Ken did not know how the trailer would react.  So put on the braces (not extra hard) in hopes the raccoon would hurry up and get out of the way.  MEANWHILE there was a SEMI TRUCK near the back of the last bike behind us.   Of course they have a harder time to slow down.   Ken was watching out his mirror to gage his speed for the safety of all......but there hearts were now beating to have this semi truck breathing down their necks.   The raccoon made it across the road and we continued......but once again we had our hands up in the air thanking GOD for his watchful care over us.

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3.  AS we entered Sebring, the bikes went their various ways towards home.   One couple normally go down MANATEE road, but the police were there.  A sink hole had opened up in the middle of the street so they were directing travel ON A SAND ROAD thru the orange grove.   Bikes do NOT do well on sand.   Yes one of them went down in the sand.   A police officer lifted the bike off of him and he is ok, but will be sore.  Trust all truly is well.  He was going very slow, but the bike did lay on him.   When he texted me about it, he was sure to give Thanks to God that the police were protecting them from falling into a sink hole and that he will be fine.  They arrived home safely.

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Even though there is ALWAYS danger on the roads, and especially when you are on a motorcycle.  Cars just do not watch out for you.   But we TOTALLY ENJOY riding bikes.  The weather was wonderful.  The company was enjoyable....and it was a GREAT day.

Holding a Lady's Hand

I have missed holding my mom's hand as we walked along.  Oh we were aware of what it LOOKED like to some people in today's world, but we also were VERY aware of the meaning it had for us.  Two friends who were proud to be able to walk side by side and loved being together.   Since her entrance into Heaven, I have missed that -I have missed her warm hand in mine...... but God has heard my heart's cry.

Twice so far this week, it has been my honor to hold the hand of another woman while walking....short distances, but nevertheless....walking with them.

One was a dear friend who is struggling with some memory issues.  We walked and talked as we cried together, laughed together, prayed together and smiled into each other's faces and hearts.  I love holding her hand.  I love the warmth of her hand, for it means LIFE.  Precious life, a gift from GOD.

This morning I held the hand of a neighbor lady who has Alzheimers.  I held her hand so she would not stray while her daughter was busy doing something in the yard.  What an honor to feel the warmth of LIFE in my hand. Her sweet smile as she looks at me and innocently says "I Love you", warms my heart.

This morning I heard Beth Moore mention how when Jesus was 12 years old  his family had gone on a big family trip, laughing and talking as they walked along.....only to loose the presence of Jesus.  They didn't even know he was gone for a while! But they sure missed him when they realized he was not present!  

 I pray that my life will never again become so full of busyness, activities, programs and things that I loose sight of Jesus in my life.  I know HE wants my life to be more aware of PEOPLE , than THINGS. 

That is one treasure I have about my mother-in-law, Marie.  It seemed no matter what she was doing, when I came to visit.....she gave me her full attention.  She didn't look longingly at her projects and think  "Will this girl ever leave?".  She would ask if I cared for a cup of tea, and before I could answer the tea kettle was on.  She knew the value of PEOPLE over things.

 God is teaching me the value of His presence, and the value of loving people.  The whole purpose of Jesus coming to earth was to SEEK AND TO SAVE THOSE WHO WERE LOST, and ultimately PAY the penalty  for their sin.  He touched those who others would not touch.  He cared about people no matter what disease they had, how old or young, how much money they had, what language they spoke, etc.  I want to be like HIM.

 I want my heart to beat in sync with the heart of Jesus.  May I never be too busy to touch another warm human being, and show them the Love of Jesus.

He unpacked my Suitcase

Have I told you lately how thankful I am for a LIVING God!   Last night my Lord woke me up about 3:00 and then did most of the talking while I listened.  He created me as a visual learner, so He had  a suitcase for me to see.  And He began to unpack it while He talked.  He thanked me for being willing and eager all these years to serve as a Foreign Missionary.  

Background:  Since I was a little girl I wanted to be a Missionary for Jesus. Ken and I did a couple of short term trips and LOVED THEM! Always expected the Lord to swing open the door to go abroad. Always thought it would be in a spanish speaking country because that language is the most familiar to me.  We named our children names that would easily translate into Spanish.  Long ago, back in college, I felt drawn to a place called Botswana, Africa.  A place I have never placed my feet, and yet have prayed for the people there over the years.  It didn't really matter to me where, I just wanted to be a Missionary for Jesus!

 

 Yet year after year God has led Ken and I to  serve Him in the USA. , and I have done so joyfully (most of the time). I will serve HIM anywhere.  I mean that, and yet the YEARNING to go abroad has been strong. Missionary conferences are especially hard for me, as I am JUMPING up and down before Lord, saying "TAKE ME, TAKE ME."  Yet year after year God keeps us here in the USA.

We Encourage ourselves!

I have often wondered what it means when King David “encouraged himself in the LORD his God” (1 Sam. 30:6 KJV).   Me, like so many of us, mostly depend on other people to encourage us on those dark days when something has tipped our heart into sadness.  Lately I have been fighting depression over several things that have flown in my face. Yes I drink from the Word of God and I am THRILLED that His Word is FILLED and overflowing with Encouragement to my wounded soul. [I am fighting well and on the winning side, for sure.]

As I was thinking on this topic, the Lord reminded me of our recent trip to MI.  We took the car instead of the motorcycle, as we wanted our daughter to be able to go with us to see her brothers.  But as we were traveling the clouds were overhead and the rain began to pour.  It was hard for Ken to see the road clearly.  Ken in his chipper voice said, "Let's put on our yellow glasses!"  We use these on the motorcycle on cloudy days.  We put them on IN THE CAR, and it is amazing how everything brightens up!  It is like the SUN is shining, even though my mind KNOWS it is the yellow glasses that is bringing the sunshine into my vision. 

It was amazing how it brightened my mood as we continued down the road.  Soon the SUN did come out, and the glasses could be put away.

Sometimes we just need to ENCOURAGE OURSELVES....at least for a short time, until the SON penetrates our downcast soul and we can REJOICE in who we are and what we have in Christ!

THIS WAY

One thing Ken helped do for Kaili's graduation party was to put out the signs directing people to her party.  One person put the lettering on the signs.  One person put the sticks on the sign.  one person added the balloons.  One person put them in the ground at certain locations......but it was the responsibility of EVERY driver to follow the signs if they wanted to be sure and arrive at her party.

Invitations had been sent out.  Food prepared.  Tables and Pavillion all decorated in school colors.   Plenty of outdoor games were ready to be enjoyed.  Powerpoint presentation set up and scrolling picture after picture of Kaili.   Kaili had a table full of accomplishments for all to see what she has done up until this point in her life.  But that is all the family could do.   Now it was up to the people to come.

There is some anticipation before such a party.  One thing for sure, they had enough seating and enough food!  In fact they had EVERYTHING in order.   But the wait for the cars  was hard.  We knew of other events in the area that may be drawing people to other places.   What will we do with all this leftover food?  How disappointed Kaili will be if only a handful come!

THEN, the cars started coming.  They had followed the signs right to Kaili's party.   Plenty of people gathered to celebrate Kaili's graduation.  She had relatives from both sides galore.   Children were playing in the fenced park area.  Men were playing horseshoes.  There were bean bag games, bocci ball, croquet, balls, frisbees, slides, swings, merry-go-round.......and more food than you can imagine. Kaili was dressed so pretty, greeting each guest as they came to celebrate her graduation.

As Christians, that is all we can do as well.  We send out invitations.  We let people know they are personally invited to join the family of God.  We explain to them HOW.  We put up signs along the way showing them, leading them to the right place.   We tell people about Jesus and all He has done for them.  We invite them to come to His table of riches now and forevermore.  We tell them of all He has accomplished for them.    We can put out balloons  by having special events, we can make the signs big and flashy....but it still is up to each individual.....to WANT to come to Christ.

I pray that you and I will be faithful to put the signs out.....for Christ.